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I am a SAHM of 3 and a wife of one. I started a blog to just bitch about life and now our youngest son is very sick I want to hear from other families going thru this and support eachother. He has SBS secondary to NEC with only 50 cm proximal jejunum and a 3 cm segment of terminal ileum. He is TPN dependent. He is a tough little 6 lb, 3 month old! Keeping my mind from turning to mush, Scentsy was introduced to me and I'm very thankful. The wonderful people in this community has changed my life. Even so, chaos in our house is a daily adventure. Some days, alright most days.. I take things minute by minute. To get through this bumpy road called 'life' I need my husband Jerad and my kids, my son Jordan 15, and my daughter Jaycee who is 11, and my son Jaxon is 3 months...I say it how it is... So I will say this.... "If you don't like what you are reading, you have the choice to leave my page. Nice, bitchy, raging lunitic, loving.. that's me! I admit I swear like a sailor, I may have different religious beliefs, I hate brussel sprouts with a passion.. these are all ways to describe ME.. I love making new friends but I will not 'pretend' to be someone I'm not just for their sake.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

He's my son!.... What would you do?

     I have known for many years now that both my oldest children could not smoke or drink alcohol.  Besides the obvious reasons, they both also have Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency.  Back then looking at a toddler, I wasn't too concerned, but now they are teenagers.  It scares the shit out of me, especially when I think back when I was arrested in the 7th grade and got a smoking ticket.  Drank with friends every chance we got.  Among other mind altering substances all through school.  I've been so worried and focusing on themselves not smoking, but never thought of when they go over to a friends house for example, if the parents smoke, they couldn't be around it.  We thought we were playing it safe when their dad smokes outside, never around them.  I quit the day I found out about their disease.  We recently took Jordan to the doctor and they said his lungs are showing signs of deterioration.  She informed us that he couldn't even be in a house that a smoker lives there, even if they don't smoke in the house!  She lectured Jordan he can't go to a few family members, his friends, anywhere a smoker lives, due to the second hand smoke being on there clothes etc and how bad it will affect them, they will get hereditary emphysema and die.  Ok well it has been a big adjustment and still is.  Jordan's best friend is no longer a house he is allowed at.  I thought okay we can deal with this, but then I got a realization that my husband smokes!  He has smoked since he was a teenager himself.  What was I supposed to do?  If someone said line up your kids and we're going to shoot guns straight at them, one of these times they will get hit... Would you do it?  I think not.  Same thing... If I allowed my husband to still smoke, even though it is outside, I'm putting my 2 kids in harms way.  We started dating the week of my 16th birthday.... he's my husband and I love him... BUT they are my kids!  So my only solution was, he quits or he moves.  Plain and simple.  I told him the next day if he came home from work and he'd been smoking, he needed to start packing.  What would you do?
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6 comments:

  1. AshaFebruary 13, 2011 at 5:29 PM

    It sucks that someone else's habit can affect people in such a way.
    http://www.ashafullife.blogspot.com

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  2. StaceyFebruary 14, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    I would have done the same thing. When I met my husband I had told him my kids come first if anything ever come up I would always choose them before him. He understands and respects my choice. In the past I have given him a choice/ultimadem in the best intrest of my children and he has done what he has needed to keep the kids safe. I know it is hard and he is probably mad right now, but you are doing the best you can and any mother would do the same. Hope everything works out and in the end you are also doing him a favor with telling him he has to quit.

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  3. FroggerFebruary 15, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    It's very tough when choices in life are difficult ones... I'm sure your husband knows you love him and should be glad you are the mother of those kids. Keeping their best interest first.

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  4. Yolanda AllenFebruary 16, 2011 at 2:00 PM

    Tough choices but those are his kids as well so he will definitely understand!

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  5. ThaiHoa BurroughsFebruary 18, 2011 at 7:07 AM

    That is a tough decision. I will definitely be in prayer for your family. If you are not there to protect your children who will? Although I use to be an addictions counselor I can tell you that stopping smoking is like trying to stop any other drug addiction. Get him help maybe instead of an ultimatum? Provide him the resources of what he is doing to his children, support him, and then go from there. I hope that helps but I am not saying I am some kind of advice giver.

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  6. UnknownFebruary 20, 2011 at 7:29 PM

    it sucks when people choose to smoke! Great Posts! Im Following! I would love for you to follow back at: www.mrslaborn.blogspot.com

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