About Me

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I am a SAHM of 3 and a wife of one. I started a blog to just bitch about life and now our youngest son is very sick I want to hear from other families going thru this and support eachother. He has SBS secondary to NEC with only 50 cm proximal jejunum and a 3 cm segment of terminal ileum. He is TPN dependent. He is a tough little 6 lb, 3 month old! Keeping my mind from turning to mush, Scentsy was introduced to me and I'm very thankful. The wonderful people in this community has changed my life. Even so, chaos in our house is a daily adventure. Some days, alright most days.. I take things minute by minute. To get through this bumpy road called 'life' I need my husband Jerad and my kids, my son Jordan 15, and my daughter Jaycee who is 11, and my son Jaxon is 3 months...I say it how it is... So I will say this.... "If you don't like what you are reading, you have the choice to leave my page. Nice, bitchy, raging lunitic, loving.. that's me! I admit I swear like a sailor, I may have different religious beliefs, I hate brussel sprouts with a passion.. these are all ways to describe ME.. I love making new friends but I will not 'pretend' to be someone I'm not just for their sake.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Halloween... which day to trick or treat?

Now that the official Halloween day is over, I ask you all the question.... Which day do you think was the right day to trick or treat?  Halloween was on Sunday, not Saturday... but alot of people felt they should go out on Saturday.  I have heard different reasoning's... One being sunday was a school/work night... My argument with this would be, how many times has your daughter's dance recital, your son's karate class, or even better their own school has events and recitals on a school/work nights.  So that excuse is bullshit.  As for religion?  To each his own... BUT... being in the state of Utah, we had the leaders of our state taking votes on to officially change 'trick or treating' to saturday.  I am outraged when I hear this.  For one simple reason.... We are not ALL MORMONS!  If your religion comes into play and you feel you should not be out celebrating, then by all means take your kids to pumpkin patches, corn maze, etc. the other six days of the week.  There are alot of events the whole month of October.  Why should everyone else HAVE to abide by rules that shouldn't apply.  It drives me nuts for the fact that when halloween next year lands on monday evening, there will not be such a huge debate on what night to go out and pick up candy.  This is not to bash Mormon's either, they have their reasons, I have mine.  I'm not MAKING them convert to my beliefs, don't make the rest of us convert to yours.  Nobody chose halloween to land on sunday this year....SHIT HAPPENS.... make the necessary accommodations to your lifestyle and deal with it.  Different topic I know... But if it was mommy/daughter day at school and there were two gay men raising this daughter, I can't imagine the LDS church going to bat for that man that he should be allowed.  I would say to him, GO.. you have every right to be there, but if he didn't feel comfortable for any reason, and it is HIS choice to not attend, I don't think he would be ranting and raving at the capitol building to cancel mommy/daughter day.  Everyone doesn't have to agree with ones lifestyles, but come on people... halloween?  We took our kids on sunday and we had house after house tell us, "Good for you" to go out on sunday, they didn't dare because of what the neighbors would think... Really?  It was halloween ON SUNDAY! Get over it!

Friday, October 15, 2010

To shave or not to shave? That is the question.....

     When should you allow your daughter to shave her legs?  Jaycee wants to start shaving, she is almost 11 yrs old.  Her hair is very light blonde so I want her to wait, beings this IS a life long commitment once you start.  "But mom my friends are shaving...", this is her argument.  Her other statement was, "I'm in double digits now, I'm old enough!"  I told her let's talk and assess this situation further.  This morning she came downstairs so excited, with her smile just beaming.  She said, "Mom, I still want to shave my legs, but for now I just stuck with shaving my arms".  "Why in the world would you shave your arms?", was my response.  She said, "Feel how smooth... I did have quite a bit of hair ya know mom".  I said, "It's okay to have hair on your arms, everyone does".  So now I'm not only dealing with shaving of the legs, now my dilemma includes arms too!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Good times old friend

      Friday was a great day.  I started out going to get my nails done, an hour of adult time is always good.  Then went and got a piercing I always wanted.  Laughing, smiling and just having a good time was what I needed before I went and had my treatment.  I was not looking forward to being sick and throwing up the rest of the weekend.  Jaycee having been sick all week with her kidney infection was a tad bit wearing.  On the way home I received a phone call to tell me with all the medication they were giving her, it was basically pissing off her liver.  If I haven't mentioned before, both my kids have a terminal liver disease and they are only to take medication of any kind only if it is necessary.  So at this point I'm losing my 'high' I've been feeling of my day starting off so great.  I finally got home and I sat down in my comfy recliner chair as my kids told me to go to bed and rest.  Before I took their advice I checked my phone messages.  I always turn off my phone while I'm at the hospital and had forgotten to turn it back on.  When I did there were 5 messages.  As I thought maybe it was Jerad being anxious to call and tell me he loves me as he often does from work. The first message was a customer calling to place a Scentsy order.  Maybe it'll end as a good day after all.  The next 3 messages were telling me that a great friend and a wonderful person had died a few hours prior.  I was devastated.  My kids excited asking, "Was that dad calling, is he on his way home?"  Sitting there not knowing how to react in front of the kids, beings they know this amazing person as well.   I calmly said, "Dad will be home soon, I'm going up to bed now". I tried to watch T.V. and couldn't.  I heard rain tapping at my window.  Rain is one of my favorite things in the world.  I lay there in the dark, pulled up the blinds, watching the rain and counting between the lightening strikes.  I cried and cried remembering the good times we had, from being the go to guy for every computer question and him knowing in my voice I was calling about this piece of shit square box that I hate with a passion when it doesn't cooperate.  Going camping many times, getting stuck in a rain storm... everyone covered in mud, running to get covers over their belongings, sitting in tents and cars, looking at each other from the windows.  Sitting around the campfire listening to good ole' country music, drinkin' a bit, smokin' a bit, you catching me and pulling me out of the fire as I fell in.  Good times old friend, knowing you for 16 years I can't believe your gone.  Always on my mind, forever in my heart.

     The last message I listened to was Jerad calling to tell me he was running late at work but he would be home soon and he loved me........

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Sick in bed

 I haven't been able to post for a few days, it feels good to be home and back typing.  Jaycee has been in and out of the hospitals/doctors all week.  Monday night she ended up in the emergency room with a 103' fever and in severe pain.  I was so scared of all the possibilities.  That is the worst feeling for me to look at a hospital bed and have your child laying there sleeping, yet crying in pain.  They finally figured out she has a kidney infection.  It was bitter sweet though.  I was happy it wasn't something worse or contagious, I have an extremely low immune system myself.  But Jaycee had a kidney reimplant surgery when she was 2 yrs old, so her kidneys are damaged already, a kidney transplant lurks in the background.  She is home now and pretty much lays in bed all day.  I want my baby to get better soon! 

Friday, October 1, 2010

Bullying Needs to Stop!

     A prior post of mine included my son being bullied at school, with the most recent episode standing up for himself.  I know from personal experience how bullying can effect children...from my daughter coming home in the 1st grade crying that someone said she was fat.  My daughter was around one of the 5th smallest kids in the class.  To my son being bullied each year by some jerk.  In my personal situations I do put alot of blame on the parents.  I know you can parent your kids and hope for the best, and hope it was good enough, but some of these parents don't give two hoots in hell what's going on and it's sad.  I am a happily married heterosexual...that being said... It was MY business to be married to someone of the opposite sex.  If you are against gay marriage why can't you keep your opinions to yourself?  It's NONE of anyone's business what others are doing.  For a couple out to preach against the gay community I would really love to burst into one of their weddings and when the person asks, "Is there anyone here that doesn't agree with this marriage speak now"  I would LOVE to say, "Stop this fucking wedding her/his partner has a big nose, she has small boobs, he is too hairy! You get my point?"  I am going to post what Ellen Degeneres said yesterday on her show which sums it up...  Last point I'll make... I have enjoyed my readers very much, but if you disagree with me, my page is not the place to post it... I will delete any hateful comments.

Ellen Degeneres-
I am devastated by the death of 18-year-old Tyler Clementi. If you don't know, Tyler was a bright student at Rutgers University whose life was senselessly cut short. He was outed as being gay on the internet and he killed himself.
Something must be done. This month alone, there has been a shocking number of news stories about teens who have been teased and bullied and then committed suicide; like 13-year-old Seth Walsh in Tehachapi, California. Asher Brown, 13, of Cypress, Texas and 15-year-old Billy Lucas in Greensberg, Indiana. This needs to be a wake-up call to everyone: teenage bullying and teasing is an epidemic in this country, and the death rate is climbing.
One life lost in this senseless way is tragic. Four lives lost is a crisis. And these are just the stories we hear about. How many other teens have we lost? How many others are suffering in silence? Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you.
My heart is breaking for their families, their friends and for a society that continues to let this happen. These kids needed us. We have an obligation to change this. There are messages everywhere that validate this kind of bullying and taunting and we have to make it stop. We can't let intolerance and ignorance take another kid's life.
I want anyone out there who feels different and alone to know that I know how you feel. There is help out there. You can find support in your community. If you need someone to talk to or if you want to get involved, here are some organizations doing great work:
The Trevor Project at 866 4U TREVOR. It's a 24-hour, national help line for gay and questioning teens. You can learn more about The Trevor Project at their website: thetrevorproject.org.

Read more: http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2010/09/its_time_to_end_teenage_bullying_0930.php#ixzz11A7sL3Nt

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Good Morning.... your house is surrounded by cops in the wee hours of the morning


     When I went to bed last night I just couldn't get my mind to shut down and allow me to get to bed at a decent time.  I set my alarm to get the kids up and ready for school, I was really going to try and have a less hectic morning.  Positive thinking, right? 

     Jerad had to go to work early this morning, he was trying to sneak out quietly beings all four kids and myself were sleeping.  In the middle of a really wonderful dream that involved Johnny Depp (hot!), I heard an extremely loud alarm going off.  Then I hear a man's voice talking to my husband.  I realized Jerad was setting the alarm system and accidentally hit the 'panic' button.   We have the system where a person comes on the intercom and talks to you.  He was asking what our password was, Jerad drew a blank.  I was yelling from upstairs what the password was while hubby is trying to relay the correct word.  After a couple tries the man said, "Okay sir have a nice day".  Jerad collected his work stuff and left to work.  I thought thank god the kids didn't wake up, I thought I have one more hour until MY quieter alarm goes off.  I was WRONG!  Within a couple of minutes of him leaving I heard the loudest banging on my door.  I flew out of bed, trying to avoid stepping on kids that had snuck in my room with their pillow and blankets.  I ran downstairs, at this point Jordan woke up and was right behind me.  I opened the door and there was nobody there.  What the hell?  They just barely knocked...where did they go?  I shut the door.  I stood there puzzled standing by the door, BANG, BANG, BANG.  The loud knocking again.  I ran to the window and looked through the blinds.  I saw a man waving at me to open the door... IT WAS A POLICE OFFICER!  Jordan at this point was freaking out, not knowing it was a cop and when his dad isn't here he will go to the end of the earth to protect me and his siblings.  He had ran up and got his air soft gun.  As I opened the door, here comes Jordan with his plastic gun.  The cop seen him and yelled at him to stop, he thought it was real.  I went outside and asked what was going on.  He said the alarm system panic went off and the man claiming to be your husband gave the wrong password.  I said, "Well I'm the one that told him the password, I know it's right"....He asked me for my ID...I went to get it and he stopped me and said, "No, have one of your kids get it, you have to stay right here".  As I was waiting I was looking around in the dark and noticed there was a plain clothed officer on the side of my house, another officer on the other side and one in back... we were surrounded.  He said he couldn't leave without coming in my house, I always crack jokes.. I started to say, "Sure you can come in but let me go hide my bong first"... I thought I better not press my luck, so I didn't say anything.  He checked out the house and then finally left.  I called Jerad at work and asked him what password he said.  He said, "I couldn't hear you screaming so I thought  you said _____.  I thought holy shit, it was like if my password would've been 'day'.. he told them 'night'.  Completely wrong, no wonder they sent the police.  Jordan has always said since we got this alarm system, "I bet this thing doesn't even work"...well he found out it does!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Snooze the alarm!


     I thought the morning was going pretty smooth, even though I am exhausted!  I was placing Scentsy orders until wee hours of the morning, I always seem to get my energy late at night..what the hell?  Got up with Jordan, had him to school by 6:50am. The other kids were still asleep and Jerad getting ready for work. I woke Jaycee up to get ready to have her to school at 8:50.  Now we're off to get the not a happy early morning 2 yr old and as long as you have food to feed me 8 month old.  Bottles, diapers, thrown food on the floor..(thank god for dogs).  Finally Jaycee's ready, I asked her last night if she was COMPLETELY ready for school today and of course she said, "yes".  I was packing up the little ones to get in the car, diaper bag in one arm, baby and car keys in the other, and dear Jaycee says, "Mom, can you write me a note to excuse THREE assignments that I didn't do?".  Think good thoughts, think good thoughts, don't explode. Instead I told her I was going to search her belongings as soon as she enters the door after school.  No T.V., no computer, NOTHING until homework is done.  Funny thing is, that is my rule anyways.  How do kids slip homework past you without you knowing?  My homework radar is on!

Saturday, September 25, 2010



     Well the last two days have been very interesting.  I received a phone call from Jordan's principal, saying she had him in her office that there had been an "incident".  My first thought was if he was okay.  She said he was fine but after lunch walking down the hallway with his friends there was a problem.  She then told me there was another kid that in her words was being 'very inappropriate' towards Jordan.  I have taught my kids to just ignore people if they are calling names, etc.  Jordan has been bullied all through school and he doesn't want to get in trouble so he just lets it happen.  After a few problems we had with bullying I was getting ready to go kick some ass on his behalf, I was sick of it!  So I told my kids, "If you start a fight, I will whoop ya, but I will also whoop ya if you don't defend yourself".  So back to this altercation at school... Jordan told this kid to leave him alone...he didn't.  Jordan pushed him a little and said to back off!  Again, the kid continued.  The third time Jordan physically shut him up.  The principal said, "The kid actually got hurt!".  She said Jordan has always been a good kid, so she was just going to give him 2 days in-school suspension.  She said, "Do you have any questions?" Of course I said yes.  I said, "Is the kid in the hospital?", she said, "No", well then I said, "Okay then what kind of punishment did he get for being the aggressor?"  she said, "He would be getting a suspension at home, also Jordan wants to know if he's in trouble with you?". My response, "Hell no!".  When someone warns you and warns you to back off, and they don't, they should EXPECT to be beat to the ground.  I'm proud of my son!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

What's for dinner?

   Today was one of those days as I was dragging my ass around I was chanting.. "Please make this day be over, Please".  I went in for my treatment, which always makes me sick.  Plus the fact Jerad was working late, so we decided to go out to dinner, instead of trying to cook.  Our first choice?  Hmm, well I had a coupon for a free kids meal at a local restaurant, okay lets go there.  When we got there, both kids in the backseat were pouting.  Trying to be nice, (I'm trying to get off the list of getting gray hair early)... We decided we could go to a burger and shake diner, they have kids under 10 yrs old eat free anyways.  Oh man, that sounds good... I started getting an appetite.  The best garlic burger and curly fries around.  So we show up at 7:45 pm, the neon orange OPEN sign still flashes.  We made it!  We walk in to get a booth and the waitress that was cleaning up must of had that mop shoved up her ass.  She says, "I'm sorry we're closed"...I couldn't contain myself, but not wanting to have the kids hear me use such profanity, I try to limit only 10 swear words a day, some days that's hard!  I said, "If you have that god damn flashing open sign lit up for the world to see you damn well better be prepared to serve food".  At this time I was to pissed off to stay, I didn't want her to spit on my burger.  So the kids suggested a buffet style restaurant.  So alright it's late, we're hungry, lets go!  We get there and trying to be so honest with their menu prices... 11 yrs old and up is $10.99...10 yrs old and younger is $0.50 per how many years old they are.  So 2 adults, 2 kids..sounds simple.  After standing in line for awhile it hit me like a ton of fuckin' bricks... I left my wallet at home! No credit card, no nothing!  I asked the cashier man to tell me about how much it will cost and see if between me and hubby if we can scrounge up the money.  I found a $20 bill loose in my purse, and Jerad had a $20 bill as well.  So we have to keep it under $40 bucks is what I'm telling myself.  As the man kept asking how old the kids are, I kept lowering their ages.  His register was messing up so he had to ask me their ages a couple of times.  In the end there were 2 adults and 2 very tall, over sized 2nd and 4th grader.  True, that was a little dishonest, BUT the total was $38.93!  After this long evening it ends with full bellies and I'm off to bed...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Dumb or Dumber?

     One evening I needed to take my son to the store for a 'scientific calculator'.  This isn't your couple dollar calculator either.  What the hell?  I don't care that it has been a few years since I was his age, I didn't even know what it was until that day.  I took him to the store and it came out to be $30.23... so I gave the cashier a $50 bill and $0.23.  She returned a $10 bill in my hand.  I sat there for a moment and was making sure the bloody mary wasn't still in effect from hours earlier.  I mentioned to the cashier.. "You owe me $20, not $10".  She replied rudely, "No, I owe you only $10".  So I sat and did the math with her... "$50 take away $30 is $20 left as change, not $10.  You owe me $20."  My son added, "My mom is a whiz at math, so you better listen to her".  I had to chuckle at that one.  She picked up her stupid little phone hanging behind her and called the manager.  At this point I opened the damn package that contained the calculator and showed the manager how I came to the answer of $20.  "I just want my $20", why is it that hard?"  I didn't think it was hard math to do.  Twenty five minutes later, and a $20 bill in my hand, I was finally on my way home.  Once I got home, I immediately went to my 10 year old and asked her, "What is the answer to 50-30?"... her response.... "20, duh mom".  To this day she still tells everyone that she had to help her mom with math.

Friday, September 17, 2010

On the defense

     I want to thank all of the teachers out there that actually go to work everyday with the children's best interest in mind.  Jaycee has been having problems with her hip, I was hoping it was just growing pains.  After 2 weeks of pain, I took her to the doctor.  They are still in the process of running tests, but nonetheless I sent a note to school as per doctor's request and stated she was not to do ANY activities.  Her teacher was very polite and caring, asking if she'd be okay.  When I was informed what happened that day, I was pissed off!  A different teacher had taken the students out for P.E. and told them to go run laps.  Jaycee told her she couldn't and the teacher said, "Shut up and you can atleast go walk"...so she did.  Then they were off to play softball, she went and told the teacher again that she would have to sit out, the teachers response.. " Oh will you shut up already?... I don't care about your damn leg!.. you need to learn discipline, when you are injured you work through it."  After the fire in my eyes cooled down enough to where I wasn't going to strangle this idiot... I was so upset that a teacher can have enough balls to think they can tell my child to shut up, more than once AND try and make her do activities when I had sent a doctor's note stating otherwise.  Why do some teachers think they only have a say so when it comes to our kids.  Then to top it off today I hear through the grapevine that this teacher is going to pull Jaycee out of class on Monday and 'discuss' the situation.  Oh hell no she will!  I called her and she's lucky she had left for the day.. but I did have the chance to leave her a nice message.  I stated if she even thinks about talking to MY daughter, except to apologize, I damn well better be present!  We'll see when Monday comes... I've got my boxing gloves dusted off and polished... ;)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Helping in more ways than one....


     This weekend turned out to be a pretty good.. I jumped at the chance to help out a friend move.  I've never dealt with the situation of not having anywhere to go, thank god.. But on the flip side I will never turn my cheek when someone else is going through hardship when they need someone...anyone.  There is to many people that just don't give a damn.  Just cruel.  It was nice to be able lend a hand.  I challenge all these bitchy, self-centered, jerk-offs to do one good deed a day and maybe they would pull their heads out of their ass and quit acting like they are Gods.

     Jordan has been at his friends for this 3 day weekend... each night they all go to a different friends house to spend the night.  Jordan doesn't ask me alot to have his friends over, he knows I can't have friends over often, when I have my treatments I get quite sick.  I feel so guilty and with Jerad home on Sunday night, and there were four 14 year old boys.. it's not like I was going to change diapers, and make bottles.. I found out quickly that they burp themselves!  We ordered 4 pizza's, that was to feed all the boys, myself, hubby and my daughter.  When Jerad went and picked them up he decided to get one more, just in case they were hungry.  I ate one piece, went to get a second and all 5 pizza boxes were empty!  Holy shit! I laid in bed that evening trying to figure out what the hell to feed them for breakfast...

     I've got to add...I hadn't met any of these parents.  I told Jordan before he was allowed to sleep over I was to talk to one of their parents and make sure one of them would be home.  It didn't bother him and he cooperated just fine. But it upset me that I have NEVER received a phone call from any kids parents to want to talk or meet me first... that includes my 11 yr old daughters friends.  And parents are throwing their hands up, wondering why their kids are drinking and doing drugs at such young ages.  I'm not stupid, I know how kids are curious, and they make mistakes.  But be damned if I'm going to sit back and just let it happen.  I heard a parent the other day, they just found out their 12 yr old child was doing drugs. Their response was, "Well I did drugs at a young age to, so I can't do anything about it".  Bullshit!  I myself went through battles of not so smart activities that have gone into my adulthood and has affected me in a big way.  If I found out one of my kids were doing something illegal...I wouldn't say.. Go get your pipe and I'll go buy ya a lighter.  How ridiculous.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

September 11, 2001 ~ Never Forget

With this my first post of my first blog I've been worried if I will say the right thing, or sound like an idiot.  This blog is about my 'life'...the good, the bad and the ugly.  But today I will keep it a simple message ~ September 11th, year after year will forever be a day remembered in our lives.  Nine years ago I was getting my then kindergartner ready for school, while my toddler was running around happy as can be, without the comprehension of what was happening to our country.  I have shed a lot of tears today with so many others, to hear the numbers of how many lost their lives.  How many kids are left without a parent, how many wives and husbands were anxiously waiting to eat as a family at the dinner table that evening and chat and giggle over their days.  Not one last kiss, one last hug, one last I love you.  Tonight, hold your loved ones close. Always on my mind, forever in my heart.